They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
