You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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