Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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