I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
