Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize