Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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