This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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