That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
