were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
