How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
