I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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