I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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