were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
