I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize