The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
