hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
