Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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