No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
