I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
