So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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