I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize