it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just gargled with NyQuil
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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