Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think your dad took our porno
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
