Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And then my night got REAL pukey
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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