she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
