Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
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