Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
