He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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