This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
