So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
