chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize