At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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