How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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