So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
