A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize