Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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