Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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