We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize