yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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