U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
