can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
