We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
