we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
