the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
