Someone shit on the floor
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
