I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
