what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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