what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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