I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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