Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
