ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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