Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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