I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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