...so i touched it.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
