Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
