Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
