You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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