smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
