I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
