idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
