I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Come on in and take your pants off
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