Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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