In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
